Have you ever felt that your life lacked something? Have you ever wanted assurance that you are living a meaningful life? Have you longed to know that you are making a difference to others?

Here are 2 heart-warming stories of how our volunteers found that bringing joy to our residents enriched their own lives; that doing so fulfilled them and added purpose, meaning and love to their days.

Uncle Loh Pak Kim and Julia: A Bond Beyond Words  

“I felt so loved“, Julia said about her relationship with then SJH resident Uncle Loh Pak Kim. Uncle Loh treated her like his daughter and told everyone that she was his goddaughter. He looked out for her, kept her informed about upcoming events at SJH, made sure she was invited to them. He crafted presents for her, like cards and origami. He would tell her how much he loved her. On her part, Julia brought him his favourite foods and cooked noodles for him when he was hospitalised. To keep up his spirits when he was hospitalised, she would hold video calls with him.

Julia got to know Uncle Loh through her weekly food deliveries to SJH on behalf of another charity, Food from the Heart. A group of 5-6 residents were always waiting to welcome her. Uncle Loh was their leader. Julia was drawn to him because he was very lively and expressive. If she arrived late, he would tell her that he waited till his heart hurt! Julia befriended Uncle Loh for 7 years until his passing. She visited him regularly. Sometimes, she brought friends. They would play bingo and sing songs. Uncle Loh liked singing and dancing. Julia played the piano. Uncle Loh enjoyed her piano playing. Julia reciprocated – she liked watching him sing and dance.

They became very close, so much so that when he was advised to undergo an operation, Uncle Loh asked the doctor to get a second opinion from Julia. She was overseas when he was eventually admitted for his operation. As his surgery was about to begin, Uncle Loh climbed down from the table and ran out of the operating theatre in his hospital gown. He absolutely refused to return for the operation. Instead, he insisted on calling Julia even though she was overseas. It turned out that he was afraid that he would not see Julia again if he died during the operation.

Julia persuaded the doctors not to operate because keeping Uncle Loh happy was the most important thing. Uncle Loh lived for another 4 years after the aborted surgery, a much longer time than the doctors had given him. Happiness kept him alive.

Why did Julia befriend Uncle Loh for 7 years until he passed on. In her words, she felt “greatly appreciated and deeply loved.” She was also encouraged to stay the course by her favourite saying, which Julia wants to share here with our readers.


 

“Be the person who touches the lives and hearts of people. Be a positive light to others as you put a smile on their faces. For in the end, it’s not what you say that matters, it’s how you make them feel that lovingly stays in their memory.”

Tuesday Cafe – The freedom of choice

The freedom to choose is fundamental to a person’s sense of self-worth, empowerment and mental well-being. Having to follow the routines and practices of an elder home, over which residents have little say, can result in residents feeling powerless and diminished.

To tackle this potential problem, SJH’s leadership approached Wendy Tan, a long time SJH volunteer from the Sennett Estate Community and grassroot leader in Sennett Estate Residents’ Network (SERN) to start Tuesday Cafe, where residents can choose what food they want to buy. SJH’s leadership hoped that giving residents the freedom to choose snacks/desserts once a week would help residents feel that they are not worthless, but still capable of making decisions.

Empowering choices for older adults is crucial for their physical and mental well-being. Research shows that allowing older individuals to make choices about their daily lives can enhance their sense of purpose, reduce feelings of isolation, and improve overall life satisfaction. This empowerment is linked to better mental health, improved physical outcomes, and a stronger sense of purpose. By recognizing the value and capability of older adults to take control of their lives, society can ensure they continue to lead fulfilling, purposeful lives.  Source: Medical News Today

Wendy and her team from Sennett Estate Culinary Interest Group took up the challenge more than a year ago. Those who are in the team also need to be certified in the WSQ food hygiene to ensure proper food handling as it involved elderly.

Tuesday Cafe has been a hit with residents, who enthusiastically queue up before the cafe opens to buy their favourite items. Some residents eagerly await and repeatedly asked if the cafe be open at least 15 to 20min before the normal tea time at 2pm.

Some residents told them that they would go light for lunch just to patronise snacks from the cafe. This is how much residents look forward to it.


Wendy explained that she and her team try to provide food that residents enjoyed before they moved to SJH. What is available at Tuesday Cafe is different from the regular SJH dessert menu and feature traditional favourites like “chwee kueh”, “chee cheong fun”, nonya kueh, carrot cake, pau and “bak kwa” to name a few. Wendy also takes note of what residents like better, what sells out faster and what isnt popular to help her decide what to buy. The team solicits feedback from the residents as well, and make notes when residents ask for certain items, such as sweet potato soup. Wendy tries to accommodate their requests as much as possible.

Any unsold are usually donated to those on public assistance. Tuesday Cafe also donates the proceeds to SJH after deducting the cost for the following weeks purchase.

SJH’s kitchen also serves kueh once a week. But residents tell Wendy’s team that they enjoy the kueh from Tuesday Cafe more because they get to choose what they like. And the kueh is what they used to eat.

Wendy and her team remain enthusiastic about Tuesday Cafe, despite having to spend much time and effort to buy different items from various markets, taste testing them, comparing prices and even cooking some food items themselves. Seeing SJH residents waiting eagerly for Tuesday Cafe to open is extremely heartening. It motivates the team to keep going, knowing that they are bringing happiness to the residents. The team has now expanded and 2 teams of 5 take turns running the cafe every alternate week. Members include Angela, Karen, Raymond, Ellen, Anne, Wendy Lim, Siok Choo, Annie, Doreen and Joanne.

Their oldest member, Ellen Ng who is 85, said community volunteering as a team is encouraging and meaningful and help keep her mentally alert by ensuring she give the right change.

Anne Kor shared that she asked to join the team the moment she heard how much happiness Tuesday Cafe brought joy to the SJH residents.


Viktor Frankl, the Jewish psychiatrist and survivor of Nazi concentration camps, said that happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue from finding purpose and meaning.

Do you want to feel appreciated and loved like Julia? Do you want to enrich your life through enriching the lives of others?

Get in touch. Find out about how you can realise your aspirations through volunteering with SJH.

Author:

Lee Han Yin

Volunteer Writer for St John's

Email: giving@stjohneldershome.org.sg
Contact Number: 6285 4446