I read somewhere that we should tell our mothers’ stories on Mother’s Day. 12 May 19 was Mother’s Day and I would like to about my mother’s story.

My maternal grandmother sailed from Fuzhou, China to Malaysia with my mum when she was less than 2 years old. They settled down in Sitiawan, Perak where many Fuzhou people lived. My grandmother left her husband, son and other daughters in China for a new life in Nanyang. She suffered from ill health in China and thought that her health would improve with the warmer climate. Her health did improve and she started working as a rubber tapper. However, she could not make enough money to pay for my grandfather’s passage to Malaysia. She sold my mum to her neighbour and used the money to pay for it.

My mum had a hard life growing up in her adoptive father’s home. Although he did not ill treat her, a few of his adult sons would beat her when he was out. At the early age of 9 years, she was sent to Taiping to work as a maid. Fortunately, her Christian employer was kind to her and treated her as a member of the family. In her teens my mum returned to her village and worked as a rubber tapper. When she was 19 years old, she decided to come to Singapore where she hoped to have a better life. After arriving in Singapore, she was match made to my father by his maternal uncle. They met for a few times and soon got married. Marrying into my father’s extended family was not easy as they did not treat her well initially. My mum gradually gained their respect and acceptance because of her capability and hardworking nature. Life became better for my mum until my father fell sick with cancer. My mum had to take my father’s place in the family business, take care of him and all of us. She became a widow at the age of 42, one year after my father’s cancer diagnosis.

Although my mum is illiterate, she is wise, smart, shrewd, daring, kind, enlightened and progressive. She made all the major decisions in my family e.g. buying our current home while my father dithered over the purchase price of $36,000 which was then a big sum of money. She had wanted to buy a few shop houses but my father stopped her from doing so. My maternal grandmother lived with us for many years before she decided to return to China. My mum sent her money regularly as well as other essential items like oil, clothes and even a bicycle until she died in her 90s. My mum engaged a tuition teacher to teach us Mandarin until we completed our GCE “O’ levels. She also bought an Olivetti typewriter for us to practise typing during the school holidays.

My mum has now become a totally different person because of her dementia. Sometimes we still see glimpses of her old self when she asks our domestic helper if she has had her meals or when she tries to assert her independence by insisting on bathing herself. There are so many memories of my mum and they will remain with me forever.

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