Just the other day, Uncle Seth (not his real name) complained that someone had changed his bedside drawer in his dormitory.  Uncle Seth, an octogenarian, treasured his bedside drawer, using it to keep his personal items as well as a table top for cutting his fruits.

We looked into the matter and found that the bedside drawer which he claimed wasn’t his, was the same one that he had from the beginning of his stay with us.  To aggravate the situation, Uncle Seth had accused one of our staff of selling his drawer to another resident for $50.  As much as it was totally untrue and ridiculous, no amount of explanation can satisfy and appease him.

I discussed the matter with our Management and we concluded that perhaps Uncle Seth, might be experiencing the onset of dementia.  This could affect his cognitive judgement and explain the many incidents where he complained of his personal belongings gone missing or stolen.

Instead of trying to convince Uncle Seth that he was wrong about his allegations of the beloved bedside drawer being swapped, our Management suggested that we offer him a replacement.  We scavenged the Home for an unused bedside drawer, and finally found one. We got it cleaned and polished just for him. Uncle Seth was happy with it. He stopped complaining about the incident and smiled again.

Why are we trying so hard to accommodate someone who constantly complains, accuses others and seems to be ungrateful?  There is only one reason why we are here and that is to help our elderly residents.  Many a time, it is not a matter of whether who is right or who is wrong.  It is about understanding and empathising with what the resident is going through, especially when he or she is exhibiting disdainful behaviours the aging process sometimes bring.  Their world view is one which we may not fully understand, however, we choose to give our elderly residents the benefit of the doubt.  Most importantly at the end of the day, harmony is maintained and that we have achieved our objective to give comfort to our residents.

I am thankful that this is how our Home operates; with patience and empathy and I am proud to be part of it.