How do you define who you are? If you ask Singaporeans, they will define themselves by what they do for a living – for example, “I am a teacher or I am an electrician”. But as one ages, your career quickly becomes part of the rear-view mirror or water under the bridge. A more enduring way to answer the question of “who am I?” is by thinking about the relationships of family and friends that you have nurtured over the years. That is likely your most precious asset with time.

One of the biggest and scariest thoughts about moving to an old folk’s home is to lose all of that and be forgotten. You will wonder if your time has come to be footnote in the story of life and that you are no longer part of it by being in such a place. If this is what a home for seniors is all about, it can be downright depressing. But the story is really brighter!

In many cases at St. John's, relationships even grow stronger. Without the burden of day-to-day conflicts and emotional bickering, the once loving relationship may again have the space and time to rejuvenate. Often times the stress of providing care to an ageing parent puts enough strain on the relationship that is beginning to sour. However, there are few people today who view an old folk’s home as a good option – both physically and emotionally.

But it can be. Selecting the right home that offers new venues for not only nurturing and caring for old relationships but also creating new ones, can make all the difference in the world. While the living environment cannot change the history one has with their loved ones and friends, but it can create new opportunities to start over again. Making new friends with strangers when you are in your sixties or seventies may not be easy because most are set in their ways. But the right environment can make that happen – and when it does, it adds to the win column of the happiness balance sheet for many. Sometimes it is easy to forget that everyone has their story to tell, and if you are willing to listen, you make a new friend!

Yes, going to an old folk’s home is not getting off the train of life. Think of it as another part of the journey with possibly new friends along the way.