How can an elderly cope in the new normal? Gladys So, Senior Counsellor at Hua Mei Centre for Successful Ageing, Tsao Foundation tells us.
What is the new normal? How can elderly Singaporeans live with COVID-19 being endemic and part of their lives?
Our counselling and coaching team at Tsao Foundation would like to share with you what has worked for some of the elderly and the caregivers. The elderly know that they cannot control their external environment, but they can change their experience of it. A commonality shared by all during this Covid period is a wish that they never have to feel angry, lonely, or helpless. They are puzzled by how they can be so easily triggered by what someone casually say, do or do not do. There is a wish to go back to the way things were pre-COVID. We would like to recommend you four psychological vaccines that will help you thrive in a post-COVID world.
How to help elderly adjust to new normal? These are the 4 powers.
1. The power of the breath
2. The power of "now"
3. The power of "me"
4. The power of "us"
The first vaccine is the power of the breath. Have you gone for a good massage and experienced the overall relaxing sensation as it hits your body? In the same light, bringing attention to your breath does the same magic to your mind. Research has found that the stress management technique of bringing attention to the breath and regulating it improves your general well-being. Why don’t you give it a try now? Massage your brain! Close your eyes and take one long deep breath. Let go!
Breathe! One long exhalation.
The second vaccine is the power of ‘now’. Some elderly have shared that they are waiting till COVID-19 is over then they can be happy. Challenging this view and giving themselves permission to be happy despite the circumstances, immediately allows them to experience the power of ‘now’.
Give it a try again… Breathe Now!
The third vaccine is the power of ‘me’. We can be a friend to ourselves. Not running away from our fears or avoiding our judgements of self and others. It is this divide from our own emotions that also contributes to a sense of loneliness. A better alternative is to greet each judgement with a breath. Exploring what our views means to us. Being reactive is so tiring! It distorts our reality and ruins friendships! Give it a try!
Breathing In … Hello
Breathing out …. friend
“Hello friend!”
The fourth vaccine is the power of ‘us’. All of us have an innate ability to care for others. When we stop connecting with others, we have a feeling of unease and alienation. But is it true we must be physically there with other people all the time? When we were young, our parents did not have to be with us all the time e.g., in school or at work. They gave us their blessings to carry on with our lives with confidence despite challenges. As it is now, we might not be able to connect with others in our usual ways, such as having our usual cup of coffee at our favorite kopitiam, exercising in the morning, or gathering with family on weekends. We can be creative to connect-whether it is through phone, a sincere wish, or a prayer. We extend our sincere wish for ourselves and others to be well and happy to ride out this storm together.
With each breath…. a sincere wish for self and others.
In summary, when we cope using the four psychological vaccines to a ‘new normal’. We self-liberate.
Written by:
Gladys So
Senior Counsellor
Hua Mei Centre for Successful Ageing, Tsao Foundation
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of St. John's Home for Elderly Persons.
St John's Home for Elderly Persons is not a government-subvented Home and depend largely on the public's generosity to enable us to continue our work as a Registered Charity.
Please support our Home by donating generously: https://www.giving.sg/stjohnshomesg
